“I have an English B.S.A.” Part I

I would like to propose a new classification for English degrees: the Bachelor’s of Science and Art.  Yeah, I know you can double major in two English fields and get both technically (at least at my school you could).  However, I think that ALL English degrees should just be both automatically.

B.S. Arguments: 

• Well, let’s just look at the initials for a second, shall we?  I mean, really, I think we all can admit that when you decide to major in English, you are receiving an education in how to B.S. your way through a number of situations.  However, I feel that an “education in B.S.ing” is not necessarily a bad thing, nor should carry a negative connotation.  Is it so awful that an English major is eloquent?  I mean, heck, my B.A. in English came in handy during a game of “Apples to Apples” in which I convinced someone that Fidel Castro was the poster child for the word “lovable” and that I should win the card.  In the real world, won’t there be times when you’ll have to calm down a client or sell an idea that you’re not crazy about?  Also, is it so awful that English majors can take mundane topics and write an exciting paper?  Look at any advertisement today and you’ll see this phenomenon of glamorizing the unglamorous.  Why do you think people buy Axe body spray?  It smells like perfumed feet, but I honestly think men see the commercial and think, “YES!  All I have to do is get that body spray and women will come hither!”  An extensive knowledge of B.S.ing is wildly applicable in the real world, in my opinion.*                                  

  *For more examples of English majors B.S.ing, see the entire paragraph above

   

• Learning to B.S. is a science.  There are certain techniques that can be employed during your college career that can be really useful while refining your B.S.ing skills.  (See my previous post “How to Get a Good Grade”).  Being a good English major walks hand-in-hand with learning what techniques one should use to work the system.  As an English major, you actually get an education in psychology.  Since there is no one right answer like there is in math or chemistry, a good English major learns to psycho-analyze her teachers and figure out exactly what they want to hear.  Is your professor a person who likes to hear their own ideas parroted back?  Do they like you coming up with revolutionary theses?  Again, this skill is SO useful after graduation when you’re trying to please your boss, satisfy a client, write copy, design advertisements… the list goes on.

Stay tuned for the B.A. arguments… there’s more “art” involved in a B.A. than they lead you to believe!

~Nancy Drew